Day Seventeen
Congratulations to all of our Giveaway winners! The real prize is at the end of this challenge. I expect that many will drop off from here, unfortunately. It is to be expected. However, those who seek, shall find. Those who put in the effort, shall be rewarded.
We have 3 days left of the Love Who You Are Experience! We have learned a lot during these seventeen days, I hope you are using the tools that I am giving to you! They will bless your life if you let them.
These tools are for you, they are my gift to you. Let them benefit your lives. I hope that you will continue to use them long past this experience. I hope that you will come back and repeat the experience again! I have learned so much doing each of these challenges along with you!
Having my life and house in order = my SANITY. I don't like having a messy house. I hate the many piles of disorganized stuff. I hate procrastination. I don't like laziness and lack of productivity. I love order. I love having a place for things and things in their places. I love when my house is clean!
Keeping my house and my life in constant order literally drove me crazy. I would have mental breakdowns on a regular basis! Stress. Crying. Resentment. Anger. I hated myself, because I just couldn't do it all... all the time! I thought it was just me. I thought there was something wrong with me.
You all have a perfectly clean home and a totally organized life, right??
I use to think so. I use to believe this.
After all, as a stay at home mom, I should have plenty of time to do everything I want to. Oh but the days are way to short! There are NEVER enough hours in a day to get the work done.
I feel stressed, just writing this.
Luckily I have found a solution to this problem! For the past few months, my life, my house, and my mental health has greatly improved! Today I want to share with you a few of the things that I have implemented into my life.
We have 3 days left of the Love Who You Are Experience! We have learned a lot during these seventeen days, I hope you are using the tools that I am giving to you! They will bless your life if you let them.
These tools are for you, they are my gift to you. Let them benefit your lives. I hope that you will continue to use them long past this experience. I hope that you will come back and repeat the experience again! I have learned so much doing each of these challenges along with you!
Order
Having my life and house in order = my SANITY. I don't like having a messy house. I hate the many piles of disorganized stuff. I hate procrastination. I don't like laziness and lack of productivity. I love order. I love having a place for things and things in their places. I love when my house is clean!
Keeping my house and my life in constant order literally drove me crazy. I would have mental breakdowns on a regular basis! Stress. Crying. Resentment. Anger. I hated myself, because I just couldn't do it all... all the time! I thought it was just me. I thought there was something wrong with me.
You all have a perfectly clean home and a totally organized life, right??
I use to think so. I use to believe this.
After all, as a stay at home mom, I should have plenty of time to do everything I want to. Oh but the days are way to short! There are NEVER enough hours in a day to get the work done.
I feel stressed, just writing this.
Luckily I have found a solution to this problem! For the past few months, my life, my house, and my mental health has greatly improved! Today I want to share with you a few of the things that I have implemented into my life.
Problem #1: We expect that when we put something into order, it will stay that way.
I cannot believe I bought into this for so long! As a mom to two little ones, I was comparing my home to the homes of my mother and my mother-in-law. My siblings are grown, and they, for the most part clean up after themselves. My in-laws are empty-nesters, Why in the heck would my house be comparable to theirs? Why were my expectations unrealistic?
Of course, I want the appearance to be good, I want to impress other people, and I wanted my mom to be proud of me. But then, I take myself back to when they were busy mothers of young children and I imagine what their homes might have looked like. I try to picture the house that I grew up in.
I have a faint memory of our toy room. It was a storage room with my both of my parent's things around the room, but in the middle of it, we kept our toys. My sister and I would play down there for hours! I remember when my mom had a melt down. She had told us repeated, "Get one thing out at a time." Obviously we didn't listen. The entire room was filled, you could not walk around without stepping on a toy.
My mom was frustrated. She was tired of telling us the same things over and over again. She cleaned that room more often than she should have. Our toy room was not the only room we made a mess of. The other day I was telling her how Kaylee and Landen take their clothes out of their closet and climb around in there. She said, "You mean like you and your sister did?" I remember on Sunday my sister and I wold use the long bar in our closet as money bars. We always had blisters on our hands because we would practice crossing it. It is only now that I think about the mess we must have made for our mother. How exhausted she must have been.
Of course, I want the appearance to be good, I want to impress other people, and I wanted my mom to be proud of me. But then, I take myself back to when they were busy mothers of young children and I imagine what their homes might have looked like. I try to picture the house that I grew up in.
I have a faint memory of our toy room. It was a storage room with my both of my parent's things around the room, but in the middle of it, we kept our toys. My sister and I would play down there for hours! I remember when my mom had a melt down. She had told us repeated, "Get one thing out at a time." Obviously we didn't listen. The entire room was filled, you could not walk around without stepping on a toy.
My mom was frustrated. She was tired of telling us the same things over and over again. She cleaned that room more often than she should have. Our toy room was not the only room we made a mess of. The other day I was telling her how Kaylee and Landen take their clothes out of their closet and climb around in there. She said, "You mean like you and your sister did?" I remember on Sunday my sister and I wold use the long bar in our closet as money bars. We always had blisters on our hands because we would practice crossing it. It is only now that I think about the mess we must have made for our mother. How exhausted she must have been.
For so long I thought that if I could just organize a closet, then it would be done. If I could wash, fold and put the clothes away, then they would be done. If I could just wash and put the dishes away, then my kitchen would be clean.. and stay that way. At least for awhile, I thought. I stressed and stressed and stressed some more. I was always running around catching up, trying to clean up faster than it was being destroyed. If only I could get ahead...
The truth is... We live in a world that is constantly changing. Physically the earth is rotating, literally the ground is shifting, the waters, the moon, the planets, everything is moving.
Why would my house stay the same? How can I expect it to?
I can't.
Understanding and accepting that the things I clean and put into order, will return to a state of chaos, has been life-changing! All I do is acknowledge and except that this will happen.
Problem #2: We think that we have failed, when life returns to chaos.
I found myself in a rut a couple of years ago. I felt so overwhelmed by laundry. I struggled with the fact that it was never done. I did not like that I had to do it over and over again. My mom has been doing this almost all of her life?? I have to do this until I die?? I also felt like I was doing something wrong. If only I could be faster, then I could have a of couple days off. I felt the same about dishes and cleaning my floors. If only I had time to deep clean, then they would be cleaner, longer.
By this time I had accepted that my house would get messy, but certainly I could fix that. I would just work harder, longer and faster! This would make me a good house wife and mom.
By this time I had accepted that my house would get messy, but certainly I could fix that. I would just work harder, longer and faster! This would make me a good house wife and mom.
You know that feeling when you've just organized the toy bins, a book shelf, the fridge, the kitchen counter, and then someone else comes along and hits the "undo" button. I would to lose it! I would be so mad... I just cleaned this... Don't you see how nice it looked? I spent so much time on this...! Alright.... I still struggle with this.
***I'll throw in a little bonus tip here: The more I LOVE and APPRECIATE myself, the easier my life is. I don't need to be so hard on myself. You don't need to be so hard on yourself either. When I understand how awesome I am, the house can get messy, my daily accomplishments can come undone, and I can still carry on being awesome! Really and truly, my house does not define me. The disorganized things surrounding me, DO NOT dissolve my awesomeness!
***I'll throw in a little bonus tip here: The more I LOVE and APPRECIATE myself, the easier my life is. I don't need to be so hard on myself. You don't need to be so hard on yourself either. When I understand how awesome I am, the house can get messy, my daily accomplishments can come undone, and I can still carry on being awesome! Really and truly, my house does not define me. The disorganized things surrounding me, DO NOT dissolve my awesomeness!
Along with accepting and expecting chaos, I move through the emotions much more quickly. When I finish a job, I admire how nice it looks. I know that it will not stay that way, but I also recognize the importance of doing the job. Even though I know I'll have to do it again... Even though I know it won't last long.
Because one step forward, two steps back is still moving forward. It is much better than turning around, giving in and giving up, and walking in the opposite direction. I face the direction I want to go and I keep on taking that forward step. That forward step is the only thing that I have control over.
When I take a step in the right direction, I can build upon it. I cleaned my floors yesterday and they looked awesome. I picked up the craft supplies and put them back into their bins. I wiped down the bathroom counter. I washed the dishes, twice.
You see, I take a lot of forward steps and I bet you do too!
While I was in that rut that I was in, I was overwhelmed and discouraged. My life hasn't gotten any easier, in fact I've taken on a lot more things since then. I never did enough. I was never content. That my friends is how you stay at zero.
My attitude and my perspective. Every step I take moves me. I build upon what I have by acknowledging it and having gratitude for what I have accomplished.
What did I change?
My attitude and my perspective. Every step I take moves me. I build upon what I have by acknowledging it and having gratitude for what I have accomplished.
I've mentioned before that I have a short attention span, I also get distracted very easily. My way of cleaning would involve moving around the house working on several different things at the same time. Each thing got a little bit farther, but at the end of the day. I still had not finished a single thing.
What had I done all day?
Well... a lot really... a lot of smaller things. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that I failed to notice and appreciate what I had done. I had not accomplished one or two big items on my to-do list. I felt like a failure most days.
What had I done all day?
Well... a lot really... a lot of smaller things. That wasn't the problem. The problem was that I failed to notice and appreciate what I had done. I had not accomplished one or two big items on my to-do list. I felt like a failure most days.
You are not a failure. You are doing the best that you can do.... right now.
Problem #3: We think we have to do it all... at the same time.
Speaking of my short attention span... I knew I needed change when I began burning a lot of food. Like consistently burning food. I am a multi-tasker addict. I have a hard time just sitting and doing one thing. Thank-you short attention span!
Currently I have my sewing machine and ironing board in my kitchen. I sometimes sew a little or iron something while dinner cooks. I'll sweep, I'll do dishes. I'll pick up the family room. When I watch tv, I do something on my phone too. I eat while I drive, read or blog.
Currently I have my sewing machine and ironing board in my kitchen. I sometimes sew a little or iron something while dinner cooks. I'll sweep, I'll do dishes. I'll pick up the family room. When I watch tv, I do something on my phone too. I eat while I drive, read or blog.
Truth is... we don't have to do it all and we certainly do not have to do it all at the same time!
I am going to share with you a secret.
I no longer try to do it all.. at the same time.
I have found my greatest success by focusing on different areas of my life. ONE AT A TIME. Sundays I rest, naturally with everyone home for most of the day, our house becomes a disaster state of chaos.
Mondays - for some unknown reason, perhaps because I've hit my max of chaos, I clean. I clean all day. All through Kindergarten, all through the afternoon. This week, I swept and mopped, which I'm proud of! I cleaned up a bathroom, put my kitchen back into order, vacuumed my family room rug and moved my couches and cleaned under them. Wow that one was way past due! One full day of cleaning catches me up and helps me feel better about the week and my abilities.
For the rest of the week, my house is fine. I can manage it for the most part. I throw in some concentrated cleaning time when needed. If I'm smart I'll start scheduling visits for the beginning of the week, when I know my house looks amazing!
I don't have a schedule but more power to you if you would like to create one!
I don't have a schedule but more power to you if you would like to create one!
Every few days I devout pretty much most of the day to blogging. Especially during this 20 day challenge, I blog ahead and then schedule when the post will be published. I don't have enough time to blog every single day. Everything and everyone else would be neglected.
Lately I have been working on sewing service projects. When I devout a day to sewing, I get SO MUCH done in one day. I get tired of sewing and need a break, this gives me several days of doing something else.
Some days I run errands, shopping, the park, visiting other people. I may not be home much or even at all.
Sometimes I cook a lot. I make big meals or make preparations for meals.
I do have my lazy days, where I sit on the couch and watch movies and munch on food. I enjoy it and feel good about taking a well deserved rest.
The point is... When I set my intention for the day, I decide what I am going to accomplish, then I put everything I can into it. I admire my hard work and then I focus on something else the next day. My house slowly, but often quickly returns to chaos. But it can sit for a of couple days. It can. I will get to it... just not right now.
This solution I have for you today is how I feel accomplished in the many different ways that I am being pulled. I do my best in each of my demands. I feel good about the work that I am doing. If or when I change my daily intention and find that something else has come up or has changed priorities, I make sure that I acknowledge the things that I did get done. I don't stress about what I wanted to do, but didn't have time for. I am proud of what I ended up doing... even if it wasn't the plan. I am then able to go to sleep filling productive, accomplished, awesome, and capable.
If you serve in church related activities, devout designated time to that. Focus on that activity or that lesson.
If you are involved with community activities, sporting events, or even your daily work schedule, you can do this!
If you are involved with community activities, sporting events, or even your daily work schedule, you can do this!
The saying work hard, play hard is true in this sense.
When you go to work, put everything you've got into it.
When you play with your kids, or visit with family or friends, let it be their time. Put your phone down. Don't be distracted. Put your attention on them.
Those self-nurturing ideas we talked about... focus on being in the moment. Set aside the time to just have fun and enjoy the experience.
You will find that you are able to accomplish your demands better than you have before. You will also find that you feel better about your work, your play, and your time, because you did it right.
In addition to what I have just taught you..
I look for opportunities to move my life and the areas of my home to a higher level of order.
For example, a closet. If your closet is in a state of chaos you can move it up to the next level by organizing one shelf. Just one shelf. You could look for items that don't belong, throw away garbage, or do a quick clean and then move on. When I look for opportunities, I look for places that I can improve. When I am ready to move my closet up to the next level, after initially doing the things I just said, I will then take everything out and put it into a near perfect order. Then my closet will be in order. I continue to expect chaos and I am okay with it.
Every day I look for things that I can put in order. It may be a stack of papers, mail to be sorted, toys, a pile of blankets, shoes, a night stand, etc, etc. There are opportunities everywhere!!
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